SATIRE: Cops and Cyborgs, What Really is the Difference?


This past week on Friday, at MJHS (Mt. Juliet High School), something happened that no one was expecting. That thing was a police raid. The police came through our schools parking lot with their dogs sniffing for contraband so that they could make busts and meet quotas.

Regardless of whether or not they succeeded, this will definitely be a future occurrence to look out for. Eventually they’ll come back and do it again and again no matter what the circumstance.

This isn’t at all an isolated incident at all though. It has happened here before and it has happened basically everywhere else in the United States. It’s not a bad thing to try to keep schools safe, but the way they do it could probably use some revision.

This article isn’t about cops at schools, it’s more about cops in general. Cops are pretty interesting.

Why did they choose to be cops? What do cops really do on their usual beats? Cops obviously have jobs to handle high risk situations like murders or robberies, but in places where that's not too, often, what are they doing?

Are the jokes about the police true? Do they really just sit around and eat donuts and smoke the weed they busted people with?

Are they really all insane and completely drunk off the power they’ve received by being police officers? Do they really turn their lights and sirens on just so they can speed and not miss happy hours and buffets?

I think this is partially true and partially untrue. I really think police are aliens that are sentient robots created with aline technology in Area 51 located in Texas.

I personally believe that they’re either sentient robots or reptilian people but the reptilian thing is kinda old so I’d rather focus on the premise of them being robots.

Cops are robots but they don’t follow their code very much which means they have some free will. So im guessing their cyborgs and not just regular robots. Next time you see a cop you should be weary, they may have a glitch and kill.

#AdamMuhammad #Feature

The Golden Bear Gazette

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