How To Be Healthy


We bet you thought this was going to be about how to live healthy. Psych! We’re here for a good time, not a long time.

As we live in a southern state, comfort food is a norm. There is a fried form of anything imaginable - even butter. But with the growing fad of healthy living, the high-sodium lifestyle is being threatened.

Yoga-groupies want you to say goodbye to your Cinco number 15-eating-ways, but they can go back to their back bending, over stretching lives.

Dairy-free, gluten-free, non-GMO, no corn syrup and no artificial flavoring are equivalent to an unsweetened, unfulfilling meal.

We do not want grilled chicken with a side of asparagus. We want a 12-count chicken nugget meal with a large fry and a sugary sweet tea. We are not Instagram models; it is okay to have a food baby.

With unhealthy eating comes healthy mentalities. It is okay to buy a size up, especially if you get to live your life to the fullest - literally.

Guess what? Bread is a girl’s best friend. I love bread, you love bread, we all love bread. The key to happiness in life? Carbs.

Fried Rice - God’s gift to Earth. This is a reminder to all Northerners, Westerners and anyone else who applies: quinoa is not a replacement for every food group. Quinoa is just a bland, boring form of a delicious, buttery rice from a local Chinese restaurant.

Finally, the scale does not matter. A number does not define who you are, so eat whatever food you want. Whether it is a donut grilled cheese or a slice of gooey pizza, live your life.

Drawing from the words of Oprah Winfrey, you get a fry, you get a fry, and then we all die. The end.

#feature #MayaBender #EmmaSherk #howto

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